I was a fourth grader, riding on the bus home from school, when I saw a man carrying an army sack on his back, trotting briskly down the highway, directed toward my home. After watching cartoons at home for 15 minutes, I realize that this man whom I had seen walking by foot two miles ago, was at my front door. To my surprise, it was my estranged cousin, who had just finished serving time in the county jail. He had come to live with my family.
I had never met this cousin. He was the son of my mother's oldest brother. My uncle had divorced this cousin's mother at an early age and abandoned him as a child. My cousin grew up in Oklahoma with his mother and stepfather. He had been a repeat offender all of his life. Now, he was here to live with me in my home.
My mother was a very gracious person, and had allowed quite a few people to live in our home. These were people who had been rejected or had been broken in some way-often due to their own delinquency. But Mom was gracious, too gracious, I think. She had prior to this time, visited my cousin in jail, and had tried to be that support for him that he never had. So, he shared a room with my older brother in our house.
One morning, my mother told him to remind me to water the ivy plants in the house.
I remember vividly being grabbed by this man, and thrown against the wall forcefully. He then placed his nose into the bridge of mine, and told me that I needed to water the plants. Angry and forceful were his words. This was the beginning of boundary violations for him with me.
So, a boundary was crossed and my cousin had given himself permission to use physical force on me when he felt it was necessary. His presence was fearful and his speech was coarse. I would tell my parents how I would hide in the closet from him when he was in our home. I remember my stepdad and mom made a joke out of the fact that I was hiding.
I can remember how angry and bitter my cousin was. But then he found religion one day. He became a member of a Missionary Baptist church regularly and was "saved" and baptized there. He found his place among the
sheeple. Going to church did not change my cousins habits however. He was still abusing things and people, went back to doing drugs, and living life his way.
Then, I remember the day he was arrested and returned to the county jail after he had stolen my stepfather's farm truck, and then unlawfully operated some heavy equipment.
After he served his time, and was back in the good graces of my family some fifteen years later, he was living in my home with mom and my step-dad again.
I had just returned from Connecticut after leaving an Assistant Pastor position at an ultra fundamentalist church, and decided to move back home for a short time. When my cousin knew I was into the Bible, he opened up to me regarding his faith. According to my cousin's confession, he had been saved back when he was a member of the Missionary Baptist church, and that once you are saved, you are always saved.
I did not disagree with him at that time. This was exactly what my church taught, namely that once someone was saved, that person can never fall away, even if they wanted to denounce Christ as Lord of them. I was indoctrinated into this teaching, and that anything else was false doctrine.
But, I could not read through the teachings of Jesus, and not question this doctrine. When Baptists present the once saved, always saved argument, they have to look over many of the scriptures. The book of James deals with having a confession that is not rooted in "pure and undefiled religion."
The major oversight and error of Baptist groups is that, to them, getting saved is a past event, as in I got saved while in the Army. Then when someone falls away and renounces Christ, you have utmost confidence that that person is in heaven, because of a decision they made long ago.
Why can't we just say we don't know who will and who will not make into heaven, except for the kinds of people that Paul said would not inherit the kingdom? (Gal. 5:21)
The initial getting saved and being brought into covenant is but is only a beginning of the work. There is evidence that if that work is cut short, and that person falls away, that that person will not inherit the kingdom of God. The Baptist view is that people who are really saved will never want to fall away, and will endure to the end. I believe this as well. So, what is the problem?
The problem is that churches, ministers in particular, are leading into lives of error by not teaching what the whole counsel of God says on a subject. At my fundamentalist church, pastors would say, "we teach the whole counsel of God here" But looking back, I think to myself "what are you talking about?" Really, the whole counsel? I even asked one of the pastors at my church the meaning of Romans 8:13. "For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live." I asked him what the meaning of
die is in this passage. The eternal security teaching does not make allow for any kind of dying in this verse.
What do we make of Jesus' teaching in this passage, if we believe the once saved, always saved teaching? :
But and if that servant say in his heart, My lord delayeth his coming ; and shall begin to beat the menservants and maidens, and to eat and drink , and to be drunken ; The lord of that servant will come in a day when he looketh not for him, and at an hour when he is not aware , and will cut him in sunder , and will appoint him his portion with the unbelievers. And that servant, which knew his lord's will, and prepared not himself, neither did according to his will, shall be beaten with many stripes. But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes. For unto whomsoever much is given , of him shall be much required : and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more. Luke 12:45-48
One of the conflicts that I have with most preachers and teachers I meet, is the need to teach the simple-minded
sheeple a complex subject and to keep things simple, as not to confuse anybody and to deny the need to devote an exhaustive study to a subject, in so much that a large body of evidence of scripture is ignored for the sake of getting everyone toward thinking in unity on a subject. This is easier than letting people wrestle with God on a subject, and to allow them to find the answer to themselves. But it really leads people into lives of error. My cousin was living a life built on error, and has paid the penalty for it, and will continue to pay for its consequences. And all who follow erroneous teaching and teachers will pay a high price for erroneous teaching.
In my last post, I talked about people who think simplistically and how the Institutional Church is a haven to simplistic thinkers. I also discussed possibly of entering into fellowship with a group of simplistic thinkers, if one humbles himself and tries to peacefully live out Jesus there. Since I wrote that post, however, I thought, "is humility on my part all that I need to enter into fellowship?" If my wife (forbid it) were to pull out a large ax and were to try to hack me into pieces when I came from work, would I need more humility in order to live with her? Is humility the issue when the other party is resolved to harm me? Would I not just need to get out of that situation?
It is easy to take the blame for the reason certain relationships with certain people do not work out. No matter how much humility you exercise, some people will never get it, and do not want to go on with Christ. The humility comes when you examine yourself to make sure you are really following Christ and that other people who know you closely see that it is evident as well.
In regards to beating yourself up over a relationship that failed, is it even right to blame yourself when you see clearly that the other person does not have an appetite for things of the Spirit? If you feel that you are naturally in favor of yourself, which we all are, ask other people you consider to be spiritual, what is the dynamic working behind any failed relationship you have had. A faithful friend may even tell you that you are to blame for the failure of a relationship.
So, we see that just the simplistic approach to the Bible can be a major hindrance to a relationship. You would not believe how many people now say that my wife and I are against certain churches and doctrines, because they, in their simplistic thinking, can not perceive an idea that goes a little deeper, than what they have believed all of their lives. A few weeks ago, the former pastor's wife ran in the opposite direction when she saw my wife at WalMart. My wife was asking me, "should I write her a letter/call her?" I said,"No, let them believe what they want to believe. This not a resolvable situation; it is a matter of the heart."
Since I wrote that post 'Its not about feeling superior to those church people,' I felt the need to clarify a statement that can be misleading. I think if the reason for going to a church, is that you have full knowledge that people are being misled and in simplicity do not know better, and that you want to guide people into the truth with patient lovingkindness and to fellowship with God's people, then I believe that there is virtue in that, and can be used by God. But often the reason people became
sheeple in the first place is that like the children of Israel, who wanted Moses to represent them for God, they too really need the life long dependency on a clergy ministry to carry them from week to week. This means, for you, evangelistic believers, trying to minister to them can be very difficult, because every body likes it this way. If you are going to a church just to be a sheeple, an unquestioning sheep, who checks their brain out at the door and does whatever they are told, then you are not being honest with what know to be true, and you could be guilty of perpetually lying to yourself to maintain fellowship or a group dynamic.
Of course, having a group dynamic does not equal church.
In conclusion, there are no hard and fast rules for every situation, and the Lord can place any believer in various places, and cause that believer to thrive. So, these are just some insights into what I have seen. I do not know what to do, in regards to gathering with the sons and daughters of God at this time, but I open my life up to any believer who wants to fellowship. I know that he will not withhold wisdom from anyone who is seeking Him.